Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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