ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Your penis caused this!
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