Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
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I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
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Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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