apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
