Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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