12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My breasts were aching with rage.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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