pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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