i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
