Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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