he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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