I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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