Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
