Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
