its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
