is your mom at the bar?
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
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I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
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Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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