One girl and one boy is just not enough.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I love you. Go after that dick
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
