And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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