You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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