you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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