I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
