ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
