Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
