Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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