I wanna passion pit in your ass
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
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hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
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I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
be right there i have to get my cape
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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