Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
