I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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