You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
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Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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