So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
