You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
