I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
