lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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