Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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