whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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