does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize