Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
it glows. i had to have it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.