My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
he had hair everywhere except his balls
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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