So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
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Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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