i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
