yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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