You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You've changed since you got that strap on
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
