Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
