I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize