they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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