I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
