i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
