I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
