Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize