Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
