Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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