I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
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