you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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