He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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