More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
