just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
