how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
