hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
