Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
